If you haven't already heard the Selfie song, you probably soon will.  I can imagine it will be on in gyms, aerobics classes and even (although I'm too old to remember them), clubs.  It will probably be the sound of the summer in the sorts of European clubs where the British go to make idiots of themselves; although I'm sure they don't set out to do so.  If you haven't heard it and have no idea what I'm talking about - the lyrics are here http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/chainsmokers/selfie.html.  I was thinking about how different the life of the song's protagonist is to mine - not that mine was ever like this I should add, this lifestyle looks far too exciting - so as a result, you can probably guess, here comes my version.

From the new mother's perspective
When I was sat at the table in the coffee shop
I kept on seeing other women staring at their husbands
They look really tired but they have bothered to put makeup on
They are still making an effort
 Do you think they have to, to keep the guy?
Now their bodies are more tuned to the needs of a baby
And not his?
Oh look, she's taking a selfie 
Of her and the baby
And he's checking out that laptop girl with the latte over there
Do you think she'll notice?

Out in the park
That couple with the adorable plum coloured buggy
are holding hands
But look
She's the one doing the holding
He's doing the pushing
She's chatting to the baby
He's looking at his phone
Who's on the screen?
Oh look, he's taking a selfie
And they are not included
It's his old life, not the new one that he wants to showcase
The mother is fussing with the baby
It's hat is at the wrong angle
Do you think she'll notice?


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